My Computer is Mocking Me

So I have this little Yahoo! tool bar at the top of my web browser, and one of its functions is to let me know when I have a new e-mail in my Yahoo! account. A little bell appears with a drop down that tells me how many new messages I have. I like it because if I'm waiting for an email, I don't have to obsessively check because my handy little tool bar wil let me know when something has arrived.

Well today, it keeps popping up saying "You have zero new messages". Every five minutes. It's like it's trying to tell me "You're a loser. No one loves you enough to email you!" (Okay, maybe it's not quite that bad, but I did feel that way first thing this morning when it started.

Thanks Yahoo! For reminding me that my friends don't email me as much as I email them. Because they actually have to like, work, at their jobs. I however am procrastinating on writing a report and therefore the internet has become fun again (it's never as much fun when you're just using it to kill time until you have something to do).

So yes, my computer is mocking me today. If it keeps it up tomorrow I may have to slap it like the bitch that it is.

The PMS Monster Strikes Again

I think I need to be put out of commission this week. By this I mean that I should stay away from everyone, both for their benefit and mine. Here's an example of why this should happen:

Friday night we went back up to my parents house (boo traveling two weekends in a row - my house is a mess because of it - but we still had a good time). My parents had ordered in from my favorite Chinese place for dinner and had gotten my favorite dish. We were late, so they had already eaten, but I sat down and fixed myself a place.

What they neglected to tell me (while watching me fill up my plate) was that my dad had ordered my favorite dish extra spicy. Usually when the restaurant does this it's bearable, and I don't know, maybe they had a new cook that night, but this was really REALLY spicy.

My husband was standing next to me as I took my first bite. As I said "wow" and choked a little on the spice, my mom volunteered "oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you it was really spicy". Thanks mom!

So as I'm turning red in the face, I turn to my dear husband and ask him if he can RUN and get me a glass of water. (And I know that doesn't help, but at that moment it's what I wanted). He laughs at me and says it can't be that bad. So I smacked him in the arm to try to hurry him along and get me the damn glass of water. Then he says, "If you're going to act like that, get it your damn self" (which, I now admit freely, I totally deserved for smacking him). At this point, I'm fuming - both from the heat of my food and my anger. So I get up, push him out of my way, stomp over to the sink, and get my water. And, boy, did I feel like throwing the water at him when I got back, but I refrained.

He left the room because I think he sensed that water coming his way was a definite possibility.

So I sat down, crying, angry, and red faced, looked at my mom, and said, "Hmm...I think maybe I'm PMSing". Her response? "Ya think?"

Yeah, I need to go back to bed and watch a girly movie and cry it out. I just can't deal with life today. And I've been this way since Friday. I definitely have to get my husband a gift for putting up with me this weekend.

(Also, I cried last night because I wanted to finish my book - Middlesex (I love it) - but I had left it at work. I totally cried for about 10 minutes about this, which was totally unnecessary and I was way overreacting. I think I need to look into a vacation or at least a sick day).

Why I'm Stressed Out this Week (a list)

1. Husband is crabby. Which in turn makes me crabby. Which in turn makes EVERYTHING a VERY BIG DEAL.

2. Little sister is leaving for college on Saturday. This makes my parents wig out (little sister is the baby of the family) and cry at any word that sounds like "college" or "leaving" or "moving out". When my mom cries, my sister cries, and then I cry. So, yeah, we've been crying. I'm also headed home this weekend again, so the cry-fest is sure to continue in earnest.

3. The director where I work announced today that he is leaving us. He created our program, and now he's leaving. So not only do I have wigging out happening in my family life, I have wigging out now happening in my work life. My supervisor was so upset she had to leave for the day, which leaves me having to go to a four-hour meeting that I know nothing about and having to take notes. For FOUR hours.

4. I've gained five pounds in the last two weeks, and it's not going away. I've been dieting, but my husband keeps ruining that by doing things like taking me out to dinner or buying a 2-pound bag of peanut M&M's. While this is all very sweet, it is NOT HELPING my weight-loss endeavor.

Well, that's all for now. I'm sure there are other things that are just as annoying happening that I can't think of right now because I'm just sort of out-of-it. Long day at work today. And now I have to go to that four-hour meeting. Wish me luck!

Also, hope your day/week is going much better than mine, but if it's not, feel free to vent in my comments.

Secrets

Does everyone have a secret?

It seems a lot of people have secrets that they're afraid to tell anyone else. If you haven't already visited Post Secret let me tell you, it's pretty interesting. Some are not for the faint-of-heart. Some are incredibly sad, some funny, and some weird. I feel really bad for some of these people, and for others, I understand why they keep their secrets. I wouldn't tell other people some of those things either.

And now, there's even a music video by the All-American Rejects featuring some of these secrets on blown-up versions of post cards.

I just think the whole thing is incredibly interesting and shows that everyone has something that they have to deal with. Some of the post cards even show me that I'm not alone. However, I have no idea what secret I'd send in if I were so inclined. My life's a pretty open book, and I'm glad that I don't have to deal with keeping in something that is eating me alive.

Ah, happiness. I'm glad it's been here for a while.

My Weekend (otherwise entitled - Why I'm Exhausted Today)

Oh, what a weekend. My husband and I went up north to visit my family for the last weekend before my little sister heads off to college. It was great fun, but exhausting, and I'd rather still be in bed right now. However, the work week beckons and here I am at my desk (obviously working away).

We went up Friday night, and just sat around chatting and the men went to the bar. I went to bed later than normal, but the boys were out late drinking way too much whiskey (which would of course haunt them the next day).

On Saturday my mom, sister and I went to the Sommerset Collection. This is a HUGE EXPENSIVE mall in Troy, Michigan. I've always wanted to go, but never had a chance. Unfortunately because it is HUGE and EXPENSIVE I didn't get anything. Everything I would consider buying before looking at the price tag had a price tag of about $500 to $600. So I only got a pair of fun shoes at Marshall Fields on the "cheap" side of the mall. (Mostly because I was wearing cute strappy sandals, which was a bad idea since I was walking all day long, and I had developed some blisters that was making walking hard. Hence, comfortable, yet still cute, shoes.)

On Sunday we lazed around, ate home-made cinnamon rolls (YUM!) and then went to the movie my husband has since re-titled "Not to be seen with your mother-in-law and sister-in-law" or "Thank God my Father-in-law decided not to come" aka "The 40-year-old Virgin". While this movie was incredibly hilarious (my cheeks hurt from laughing when we were done) he didn't laugh very much because he was embarrassed to laugh at what was going on sitting in the same row as my mom and sister. He has requested that we go see it again so he can actually enjoy it and not turn purple because he was so embarrassed.

We made it home last night at about 8:30 and I was sleeping by 10. Good weekend, great even, but thoroughly exhausting.

And we're doing it all over again next weekend. Which should be a tear-fest since the baby of the family is leaving the nest. Should be interesting.

I Totally Planned this All Wrong!

I just realized not too long ago that I totally planned my dates all wrong. I have limited my gift-receiving season to less than one month! I'm a little sad about it.

You see, my birthday, my anniversary and Christmas are all within less than one month. And Valentines Day (which we don't really celebrate) is less than two months after that, so I just really screwed the whole thing up. Not that I planned my birthday, or Christmas falling within a month of each other. Really, that one is my parents' fault. But the anniversary thing? That was totally my doing.

So, my husband and I have to decide (and these are the two options we've come up with) what to do about this. (He is lucky and has his birthday at about the half-way point of the year, so he has plenty of time in between the giving of gifts). The two solutions we have come up with are:

1. Get a huge gift (bigger than I would normally get for any one of these occasions) to celebrate all three. Or,
2. Get a gift on my half-birthday.

I don't like either of these choices really. Option 1 sucks because one big gift is less fun to unwrap than a bunch of little gifts. Option 2 is no fun, because then I miss out on getting gifts on one of the important occasions that are all lumped together.

(Wow, I realized just now how greedy this makes me sound. I don't NEED gifts, but they are fun to get. I, personally, like giving them just as much, if not more, but as my husband and I are Drama King and Queen, we need some crisis to worry about at all times).

So, I need some other ideas. Seriously. Mostly because my husband will not let me combine both options, and I can't think of any other options besides just giving gifts as normal.

Oh, what a horrible dilemma to have! (If only all my problems were this wonderful.)

My Week of Good Days

Wow, this has been a great week so far. I don't even know if it can get better from here (although it totally can because I get to go home and hang out with my awesome family this weekend and my husband has okayed me spending some money on completely unnecesary items. Yay!)

Yesterday was fairly non-exciting, but it was also fairly non-completely-stressful. Which is always good. And we had a yummy dinner (grilled cheese and tomato soup), so that was good.

But here is the jewel of my week. (And I know it's not a nice thing for me to say, but I'm excited). One of my co-workers is leaving after today. Today is her last day!!!!! (If you haven't guessed, I'm not her biggest fan. I'm not even her littlest fan. I'm a non-fan of her.)

She's annoying, a know-it-all, and won't shut up most of the time. I used to have to share an office with her. Luckily my boss saved me from that, and I now have a new office and new office-mate.

And, not only is she leaving, she's moving to an intirely different state. (My apologies to those of you who live in the D.C. area. May you never have to run into her.) And, if she ever finds my blog, I don't ever have to see her ever again, so I don't care!

Can you tell I'm slightly excited?

Like I said, I know it's not nice. But let me say this: I am far from the only person here who is not-sad to see her go.

Oh, there was one part of my day that sucked. That was when I put $34 in gas in my ECONOMY CAR. The one that took me less than $20 to fill up when I first got it. THIRTY FOUR FREAKING DOLLARS! That's just not right, people. It's just not.

Okay, I'm done with the bitching/whining/etc. Now I'm going to go home and cook a nice dinner and have a quiet evening watching what I want on the t.v. while my husband has a fantasy football draft that should take him throughout all of prime-time shows.

See what I mean? This is a GREAT WEEK!

The Scare

Well, yesterday was quite a day. I didn't post because I didn't want to jinx anything (although I don't know which way I wanted to jinx it).

See, well, the thing is...we thought I might be pregnant.

I'm not.

I wanted to test yesterday morning, but when I ran to the drug store it was closed. As was the one across the street. I had to get ready for work still, so we decided it would be better to test after work.

So off to work I went (after getting ready of course - I may go to the drug store in my pajamas but not work) thinking all day long about what could be happening. I visited bunches of fun websites like Pee On a Stick (where I read all about home pregnancy tests and even about the fun you can have with pregnancy tests and other bodily and non-bodily fluids) and Baby Center (where I calculated my due date - it would have been April 18th of next year).

It was a long day, but not as stressful as one may think. I was in a good mood, my husband was in a good mood and we were both cautiously excited about what may lie ahead.

After work I went to the gym to do some light exercise and to keep my mind off of testing until my husband got home from work (he gets home about 1 1/2 hours after I do). After the workout I went to the drug store to buy the test. I also got a magazine to distract me again.

When he got home I took the test. We watched it for a minute waiting, excited, until it came back: Not pregnant. And we both cried. As much as we keep saying that we're not ready and it's not the right time, we were both ready yesterday. I kept saying that it was okay, that I wasn't ready anyway. And my husband said he knows I am.

And then, before it got too sappy, we went out and had burgers and beer. A celebratory drink to the fact that I could drink. And we went to bed early and cuddled to sleep.

It was a great day.

Back to the Work-a-day World

Well, I survived the concert. I'm exhausted, my ears are still ringing, and I may fall asleep at work a few times today. But! It was so worth it. It was a blast!

I don't have any pictures yet because I have to have them developed first. I don't get my digital camera until Christmas this year. I'm so behind everyone else in the world!

I so didn't know Bryan Adams is totally my type! He's tall, skinny (really skinny) and kind of dorky looking. He may be my new celebrity boyfriend (although I don't think it will happen. No one can knock Johnny Depp out of that role).

Def Leppard was a rockin' good time. Lots of silly fun and songs I haven't heard for a while. Although it was weird watching both bands thinking "These guys are at least as old, if not older, than my parents". Weird.

But, far better than either of the bands was the crowd at the concert. I love to go people watching, and everyone there was great people watching fodder. So here's my list.

Seen at the concert:

• Far, FAR, too many mullets.
• Lesbian couple making out. Two thirteen-year-old boys watching lesbians make out unless their mothers were talking or paying attention to them (my friend almost wet herself laughing at this scene. The boys' mouths were literally hanging open).
• Far, FAR, too many drunk rednecks.
• One shirtless, very sweaty 20-something man who was way too into one of Def Leppard's songs. He slapped his own ass and sang into his beer bottle/microphone with more passion than the band itself. It was great. When he went to the back of the crowd, those of us watching him were audibly disappointed. He was confused when 30 people behind him went "Aw....Darn". It was very funny.
• Weird tattoos. Lots of them.
• Many 30 or 40-something men in what were obviously their work clothes singing along very passionately.
• One woman, who was pulled up on stage with Bryan Adams, grabbing his butt. A man just off stage got her attention and shook his head at her, seemingly saying "try it again and you're out of here".

There was much, much more, but my head is still kind of cloudy from the late night.

I only got two pictures, but I will post them at some later time. It was so much fun! I only hope that this ringing in my head goes away eventually.

Pour Some Sugar on Me

I don't know if I'm embarrassed to admit this, or if I'm so retro it's cool. But here goes:

I'm going to a Def Leppard/Bryan Adams concert tonight. And I'm "totally stoked" about it.

Yes I'm a dork. But I totally plan to post pictures afterwards.

Here's another 80's hair metal story to keep you entertained until then.

Last year my friend (I'll call her "M" (and not the same M as in the "Drive Through Ass" story)) and I went on a bar crawl with a couple of my old college friends. Now one of these old friends I used to sort-0f/kind-of date. As in when I needed a date for a party he's the guy I called. And he was older so when I was under 21 he would buy me drinks. Well, he still kind of had a thing for me and was being obnoxious and it was all awkward, so I proceeded to get completely sloshed. As did M and the old friend.

Old friend was being a sulky drunk at the last bar we were at. M and I decided to ignore him, so she and I went to the other side of the bar where there was an 80's hair metal cover band playing. We were the only 2 females out on the dance floor, but we were having a great time. (We were also about 3 or 4 years older than anyone else there, so we may not be cool anymore. Whatever.) Well, since we were the only two women on the floor the band took notice of us and, possibly, our drunkenness. So they had us sing the refrain to "Talk Dirty to Me". It was a blast!

Old friend called us geeks and was still being sulky, so we were out there the whole rest of the night, drunk as hell and singing and dancing our little 80's hair-metal loving hearts out.

So tonight? Should be fun. Only with a lot less drinking involved. I think I'm sneaking in a flask. Wish me luck!

A Case of the Mondays

I have a serious case of the "Mondays" today. I'm crabby and tired, and just want to go home. Too bad I actually have work to do today and a "sick day" coming up on Friday (taking care of a friend who is getting her wisdom teeth taken out and I don't want to waste vacation time on it), otherwise I'd take a sick day today.

I almost cried today because I was stuck in traffic. For five whole minutes. I think I need to go back to bed.

I've had the Mondays since Saturday. That day I almost cried because I was tired and we were golfing and I was sucking at it and wanted to quit.

I bought myself some presents yesterday to try and cheer myself up. It kind of worked, but I'm still in a pissy mood. I got a new pair of shoes, new pajamas, some ice cream, and a new Playstation game for my husband and I. (I'd link to the shoes and pajamas, but the web-filtering software is acting up today at work and it won't let me go to any shopping website except this one, which is sure to make my husband unhappy because then I have dreams of grandeur where I can actually afford some of these beautiful, beautiful things).

I think I'm going to go now and get some peanut M&M's to hopefully help me get out of my funk. I think they'll really help. Mmmm...m&m's.

About Me

Here are some things about me. You know, just in case you were interested.

I was born in Columbus, Ohio in 1979. I lived there fore the first two years of my life, at which time my mom and I moved to Michigan. For most of my life I told people I was from Ohio. Then I realized, I've lived (as of now) 92% of my life in Michigan. So really, I'm from Michigan and I used to be a big fat liar. (And yes, I'm a big geek who figured out the percentage of my life spent living here. I love statistics and percentages.)

I was going to be named Jessie whether I was a boy or girl. Not Jessica if I was a girl (which people assume is my name and call me all the time, IT'S NOT MY NAME!). This was my biological father's idea and he died two weeks after they found out my mom was pregnant with me, so my mom went with it.

My mom married my step-dad (who I consider to be my dad. He's wonderful) when I was 2 1/2, and he's done a great job raising me, if I do say so myself. He and my husband get along great. I'm very happy about that.

I got married in December of 2004. My husband and I met in early 2001. Here's how we met (it's sort of sweet). I was home from college for a semester (long story) and I had to get a job. In high school I had spent just about every free evening at the local coffee shop, so I decided to apply there because I liked it there. I handed in my application to this cute guy (later known as husband) who promptly took it back to the owner and informed him that he had to hire me because he thought I was hot. I got hired, we worked the morning shift together pretty much every day, and started dating 3 months later. He told me not too long ago that he knew he was going to marry me the moment he met me. Awwww, how cute and sappy is he? Very.

I graduated with my Masters in Public Administration in May 2005. I was originally planning on going to law school, but was broke and could not afford to take the LSAT, application fees to different schools, etc., but still wanted to get another degree so I decided to take the GRE and got in to the only program I applied to. It was hard work, but I'm glad I did it. And I'm even more glad that I'm done.

I am the oldest child in my family. I have a brother who is 4 years younger than me and a sister who is 7 years younger than me. They are both awesome. So are my mom and dad. I love my family very much and am glad we're not too disfunctional.

These are what I think are the most important things to know about me. There are lots of other things, but I think I'll save those for when I have enough readers to do a 100 Things list.

10 Things About Today

First, five things that suck about today.

1. I have nothing (NOTHING) to do at work today. I am therefore incredibly bored.

2. There is still one whole day of work left this week after today (Company picnic on Friday so we only have a 1/2 day of work. Yay!) with nothing to do for that day either. I will therefore be incredibly bored for the 3rd day in a row. Blech.

3. I should work out today but I was too lazy to carry my gym bag out from my car to my apartment last night so I didn't have it to pack this morning and was too lazy to go get it this morning and therefore am not working out. And I should be.

4. We're having steak and potatoes for dinner tonight, so there goes my attempt to not eat potatoes (or pretty much all white starchy foods) for a week.

5. There's still about 2 hours left till I get to go home today to cook and clean and fall asleep embarrassingly early only to do it all again tomorrow.

Now, five things that are awesome about today.

1. The work day is almost over (only two hours left - well really 1 1/2 because I always leave at 4:30).

2. We're also having asparagus with dinner, which I LOVE! Mmmm... roasted asparagus, steak, and roasted red skin potatoes. Totally worth screwing up my diet for. Plus it could be worse than that for dinner. It's semi-healthy. Right?

3. I don't have to work out today! Yay!

4. Less than a full work week this week, so only one day left of work for the week. Yay again!

5. I get to blog, guilt free, because there is nothing else to do and even my boss is goofing off because there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO.

P.S. I just spell checked my post and it came up with "blog" as a misspelled word. Ironic, no?

Crisis

It is a sad, sad day today. And I really need help.

You see, my blow dryer broke this morning. I'm starting to be okay with this, but it keeps coming back. It's dead and there's nothing I can do to revive it. And I looked and they don't make my model anymore.

You see, when it comes to beauty stuff, I can be pretty clueless. This comes from my mother being a complete hippie who wears no makeup, does not use styling products in her hair, and does not even wear a bra.

The last hair dryer I had was from circa 1980 and it was my dad's. I took it to college with me and about 6 months in it caught fire. Apparently it was not used to being used every day.

So one of my sorority sisters took me out and helped me pick out a new hair dryer. It's one of the ionic ones and has a cold blast button and works very well.

But now, a dilemma. I have no one to take me out and help me pick out a new one. All the ones I've found online cost like $200, and I'm sorry, but I was thinking like $30. I have no idea what to get.

So, any suggestions? I seriously need help with this. I've already told my boss I'm sorry if my hair looks like crap for a few days because my dryer died. He kind of looked at me funny and walked away. I don't think he really cares.

Best Diet Advice/Reasoning I've Ever Heard

Skinny feels SO much better than pizza tastes!

Work Work and more Work (and PAIN)

It's been a while since I posted. I didn't die, I was just snowed in by work. Writing surveys, writing reports and creating forms, as well as house work - vacuuming, washing floors, cooking, more cleaning etc. The life of an actual adult never ends.

This weekend was a lot of fun, when I was not doing the house work, but it was also very painful.

See, I had this great idea this past Thursday. I'm trying to get in shape and lose some more weight, so I decided it would be a good idea to do the Abs and Glutes class at my gym.

Not such a good idea.

I think the instructor's name was actually Satan. She was that horribly mean!

Thursday, immediately following the class (which I left 15 minutes early), I felt like the bones in my legs had been replaced by Jell-0(TM). I could barely move and didn't get off the couch all night except to move to my bed.

Friday, I couldn't stand up or sit down. Once I was in one of those positions it was fine, but actually transitioning from one to the other was damn near impossible. My legs were in a LOT of pain. A. LOT. And, for some reason, my knees were deciding to give out slightly at random causing me to start to tip over. My husband thought this was hilarious (thanks for laughing, dear).

Saturday, my abs joined the fun so it hurt to do anything. Even laugh or cry, which I was alternating between. My husband was sick of sitting around so we went out and did a few things. We went to dinner, I went to a movie with a friend while he drank beer with his friends, and then we went bowling. Correction, he went bowling, I watched him and our friends bowl. Excitement!

Sunday, I was feeling better until we went to church. All that standing and sitting, repeated ad nauseum, was killing me. But after that it wasn't too bad.

And today, finally feeling like myself again. Except I'm going to work out after work. I will, however, be avoiding the instructor that is satan at all costs.

Someone remind me of this the next time I have the bright idea to work harder than I should at getting in shape!